ma’am YOUR son is autistic

“It’s because he’s a boy,” I expressed to my husband, trying to convince myself more than anything- “boys are usually late talkers…your mother said you talked late…he took after you…boys are usually more hyperactive…we must not compare him to his siblings or other children because every child is different.” Longer and lenghthier my list of excuses grew as to why our only son was not meeting certain developmental milestones. Deep in my heart, I knew something was wrong but was in denial. I was faced with the cold hard truth at his two year old checkup, when the Pediatrician revealed several red flags indicating the possibility of autism. That visit was followed by several months of evaluations and referrals to specialists and finally at 3 years old, it was confirmed that my baby had moderate autism.

So many thoughts sped through my mind as I processed this new diagnosis of autism. Will he ever live a functional and independent life? What will happen to him when I and my husband are no longer around? Will he ever ‘grow out of it’?

In my mental distress, God met me and reminded me that He knew my son before he was even formed in my womb. I was reminded that he was wonderfully and fearfully made for a purpose- a purpose that will impact lives and bring glory to God. His autism could never hinder the plans God has for him.

As I became more comforted by God and learned more about autism, I began to embrace my son for all that he is- intelligent, affectionate, loving, and so on. Instead of viewing him as a disabled victim, his uniqueness became more evident to me. The challenges I encountered in caring for him birthed within me perseverance, long-suffering, and patience. Because of my experiences with my dear boy, I have learned to be more compassionate and empathetic toward other mothers of autistic children; and less judgemental toward children with behavioral problems.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 139:13‭-‬16 ESV https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.139.13-16.ESV